I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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