they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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