week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
