I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
