If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
