i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
is it fun? or sober?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
