Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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