I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
