Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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