this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
