Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
