Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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