You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
