This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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