I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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