We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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