If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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