I wish I only lived at night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
false alarm, still single
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
