I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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