do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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