It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
