careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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