$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
