Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
