You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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