Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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