Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
