You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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