How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
