You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Randomize
