Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
