I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
