I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
