he wants to bone in the snuggie
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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