I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
