Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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