He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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