we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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