He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
