She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
