Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
