Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
