i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Mom said you looked used
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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