Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
