Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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