I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
