Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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