How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
