it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
