proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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