I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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