SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
