I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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