There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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