Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
