My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize