umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize