Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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