i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
