I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're too hungover to prance.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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