At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
